I heard about the 5 Love Languages a few times but never paid much attention. The other day I looked into it in much more detail and I’m glad I did!
It’s crazy awesome and I highly recommend listening to the audiobook on audible.com. There’s a few different versions for different relationship types. I listened to The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts and The Five Love Languages of Teenagers.
There is a quiz on their website that makes it super quick and simple to figure out what makes you feel most loved as well as what makes someone important to you feel most loved.
Let’s say your husband doesn’t seem to appreciate all the things you’ve been doing for him. You feel unappreciated and so does he. But you don’t understand why because you’ve been trying so hard.
This quiz will tell you what makes him feel most loved (and also what is pretty much meaningless to him). Acts of Service may be low on his list and that’s why he doesn’t seem to appreciate all the laundry and cooking you do for him. Maybe Words of Affirmation is high on his list. He wants to hear you say you’re proud of him for getting that promotion.
The same is true for you. He may be trying to fill your love tank but it’s not working out. You can share with him what specifically makes you feel loved. Maybe it’s Quality Time together, but he thought it was Gifts. So he buys you stuff but you’d rather spend the evening together.
You should definitely take the quiz here and if you have more time, I suggest listening to the audiobook in the car. (Ugh. LA Traffic.)